Old man's nose

So I believe I have taken the first step to middle age....albeit a bit premature but nevertheless.

I have developed what I will call "Old Man's Nose". Old man's nose is an affliction that commonly affects older gentlemen's noses. The symptoms are a constant state of whistling or whistling type noise coming from the nasal cavity. Most common causes are dried boogers that restrict the flow of air in and out of the nose.

You can commonly hear OMN when the afflicted are napping or talking on the phone. The whistling occurs when a breath is taken in. As gross as it sounds, I have done my best to have a clean nostril area and yet the OMN seems to remain.

I am starting a support group for those affected by the hideous disease. We have established an account at our local bank for anyone wishing to donate money to finding a cure.