Advice to new parents

I recently found out that some friends of mine are expecting their first child. They have said on several occasions that they liked how B and I interacted and dealt with our kids. Which means that they might be calling us when they encounter difficult situations. So I thought I might take a few moments to give them as well as any other soon to be new parents some advice.

#1 - During the pregnancy, husbands remember that your wife is the vessel that God has chosen to create life. Think about that for just a moment. The means that your wife's body can create another human being. How special and wonderful is that? It is so special and wonderful that she will remind you of it when the house isn't clean and she doesn't want to clean it. "Well honey, I would clean the house but I am too busy creating a baby. What are you doing?"

#2 - Becoming parents is the hardest, most frustrating, most humbling, most wonderful and most rewarding task you will ever do in your life.

#3 - If at any moment you do not feel like you would throw yourself in front of a car for your child or if you don't think you child is the brightest, smartest, most beautiful and most talented child on the face of the earth.....then you are doing something wrong. Stop what you are doing, go over to your child and hold them until you do feel that way.

#4 - If you have a boy you will have to decide whether or not you will get him circumcised. This seemingly simple decision is a very confusing one to make. On one hand, this society has deemed it appropriate to cut off skin to comply with "social norms". On the other hand, since it is a "social norm", when little Joey or Billy is with his friends and they are partaking in the common ritual of showing each other their tally whackers, they will not be embarrassed because they are different.

#5 - In the United States, breastfeeding is largely considered to be inappropriate in public and unnecessary. There are reams and reams of data and many many studies that show the incredible benefits of breastfeeding over synthesized formula. There is something to be said about feeding a human being from the same body that nourished it for 9 months. Also (according to my wife, you'll quickly get over the worry about feeding in public when your child is screaming and the only private areas around the fair are porta-potties.

#6 - NO one has it all figured out. Let me state this again for perfect clarity. NO ONE has the parenting gig figured out. EVERYONE makes it up as they go along. Everyday brings a new and exciting challenge. As they get older, the problems only get bigger.

#7 - If your child poops in the bathtub, don't panic. Don't be disgusted in front of your children. Be calm. If they are playing with it, ask them to stop. Open the drain and pray to GOD that you have a good draining tub. Stand your child up, as the water is draining around them, use a cup with warm water to rinse all the excess poop off their body. Keep the child standing so you don't have to sanitize the tub right then. Continue with the rinsing of the child. Use soap at this point to wash your child. I also suggest cleaning their hair JUST IN CASE. Oh and it is probably a good idea to put them on the toilet if you can. You never know, they might not be done.

#8 - Repeat after me....it is only poop, I can always wash my hands. Here is a news flash. Men, you will change many many many diapers over the next few years. Get used to the smell and get used to getting poop and pee on your hands. It's ok, its natural. Just remember that you can always wash your hands afterwards. This goes for those diapers that have leaked when the child is sick and the poop is running into their pant leg and onto the floor. This also goes for the time when they are running around the house naked after bath time and they squat and pee on the floor.

#9 - Life is about balance. If you feel yourself getting angry all the time, it is probably because you are. If you are always angry when you are around your child, they will become angry too. YOU are the one teaching them how to become a person. They will copy what you do far more than they will copy what you say.

#10 - Read to your child. My wife is brilliant for many reasons. One of the reasons is because she knew early on the positive impact reading has on the mental growth of our children. Our children are book fiends.

#11 - NO ONE knows how to raise your child better than you. No one knows the subtleties of your child more than you. You will be able to tell the difference between their cries. When you can't communicate with your child verbally, it is essential that you learn what a hungry cry sounds like as opposed to a bored cry or a full diaper cry.

#12 - You are going to make many many mistakes as a parent. It is unavoidable. We forgot to bring a blanket to a doctor's appointment. This may not seem like much but when your child has to get naked in a cold exam room, you will feel terrible for forgetting a blanket. We lost our 2 year old at a picnic with 200 people standing around. Thankfully nothing happened to him. I thought B was watching him and she didn't realize I had walked off without him.

#13 - This is the most important thing that you must know about becoming a parent. Let's just say that no matter how much you THINK you know how your life is about to change, know this. You don't know squat about how your life is about to be turned upside down. You may have spent a lot of time with kids before in any number of ways (baby sitting, relatives, etc) At night, you have always been able to separate yourself from those children and go home. Go home to your own bed. Go home to your own TV. Go home to a quiet and clean house.

Well that is ALL GONE my friend. You are now entering a world to where YOU are responsible for keeping someone else ALIVE. No one else is going to come pick up the baby and give you a break. You are the only one designated as being the full time guardian and protector of this child. You have to do everything in your power to make their surrounding at home and everywhere you take them, safe.

If you are extremely bothered that you can't sleep in on the weekends because of this child, your priorities are off. If you are extremely bothered that you can't go see as many movies in the theater, your priorities are off. If you are mad because you don't have any time or money to play as much golf, your priorities are off. If you can't buy as many things for yourself and that bothers you or if you ponder and stress over anything that you had to give up because of your new child, then your priorities are off. Your number one priority is that child. If that means you cut your spending or time with your friends or if you don't get to watch as much TV, then that is what you do. Your number one priority in life is that child.

There is so much more I could say. Perhaps I will write another post with my wife helping me. For now, good luck. You are about to be a parent.

The long journey home

So it begins, the long drive home from Tulsa. We will make it to around St. Louis tomorrow. That is usually where we stay. Sometimes a little closer sometimes a little farther. It depends on how early we get going in the morning and if we make good time or not. RP returned to us today from visit her two aunts for the past two weeks. She seems determined and motivated to get things going when we return home.

All in all we had a good trip. No one got sick. No one got hurt. I was able to spend good bonding time with my friends. I got to spend father's day with my kids and my dad. I played a lot of Xbox. It will be good to get back into the normal routine. It will be good to get back to paint the basement.

See ya when we see ya.

My new addiction

Gears of War

I'd like to introduce you to Marcus Fenix. He is the main character in the Xbox 360 game called Gears of War. This is a game that has plenty of violence, swearing and shoot um up fun. I am not exactly sure about the over riding storyline behind the game. Basically you go around killing a bunch a gross looking monsters with a diverse set of weapons.

The two most notable weapons are the bow grenade launcher and the machine pictured above. The reason they are notable is because the bow grenade launcher sends out a laser beam to show you where you are aiming. When you fire, the grenade doesn't just explode on impact. Oh no, if it hits one of your enemies or you, it will insert itself into your body and THEN explodes.

The machine pictured above is special because in addition to the machine gun firing action it has a small chain saw on the front of it. Which means if you get in close to one of your enemies you can literally saw it in half. I mean body splitting in half blood splattering in your face gargled yelling of the victim and everything. It is quite a graphic site.

This game is not for kids of any age....except for the 38 year old kids.

The house I remember visiting when I was a small child

It is amazing what you remember from your childhood. I can remember playing hockey on the local elementary hockey rink every winter in Anchorage Alaska. I remember specific lines in the asphalt on the road in front of my house. I remember because we would have "wheelie" contest to see who could hold it the longest. There was a line right in front of my house that we would always use as a starting point. I remember so much from my time in Alaska. I have many fond memories growing up there.

But today I wanted to help you see what it was like going to visit my mom's parents house in Point Comfort, Texas. Point Comfort is a very small town on the southern coast of Texas. It is close to places like Corpus Christi and Padre Island. Point Comfort was right next to Port Lavaca. I specifically remember the name Port Lavaca because my dad told me a story about how Lavaca meant "cow" in Spanish and how a herd of cows were killed either in the bay or near the bay or something like that.

What holds the most memories for me in Point Comfort was the pier that extended some 40 to 50 feet out into the bay out behind my grand parents house. I spent countless hours on that pier fishing. I caught everything from croakers to red fish to the occasional crab. I could literally tell you dozens of stories I remember experiencing as a kid. Sometimes I would just enjoy being near the water. The smell of salt water. The sound of mullets jumping out of the water. The sight of seeing large ships passing way off into the distance. What I would give to be able to sit on that pier one more time. Perhaps sitting with my kids and watching them fish.

I also remember the large number of fish tanks my grandma had in the room just adjacent to the garage. We are talking somewhere in the order of 20 fish tanks. I couldn't tell you the types of fish that were in it. But I could tell you how all the fish tank bubble machines would sound at night when we were sleeping in the living room.

I remember loving to visit my grandparents because the non-animated TV show Batman was on the TV. I would stop whatever I was doing to watch Batman.

There is a sound I distinctly remember hearing as I laid in the living room to sleep. The sound of this old wall clock that hung just above the passageway between the kitchen and the dining room. It was so loud. Tick Tick Tick Tick. But it didn't bother me because I knew when I heard it, I knew where I was.

I remember the red velvet drapery, the large gaudy golden head board and the golden carpet in my grandparents bedroom. I wasn't allow to go in their bedroom other than to look in when I was standing outside. I remember going to the house to help paint and repair it after grandpa died. I remember seeing the rust stains in the carpet from the lead weights that were in the bottom of the red drapes to help keep them hanging straight.

I remember being in the car the night my uncle Dick ran over a rattlesnake. They brought it home and we cut it open. The snake had just eaten a mouse. Dad cut off the rattle and kept it.

I also remember the box of old toys that were like finding the pot at the end of the rainbow when I would come to visit. The toys were crappy little pieces of junk but I loved playing with them when we would arrive from making the long trip.

As I said, I could go on and on about things I remember about that house. I don't know why I thought to blog about it. I just thought it would be a nice thing for my family to read.

Why do you choose who you choose to marry?

Who you choose to marry can be based on one reason or on literally dozens of reasons. I have heard people say that they married for money. I have heard that people marry because they had a child (mistake) and thought it was the right thing to do. I have heard that people marry because they are just trying to get out of their parents house. I have heard that people marry simply based on a feeling. I have heard that people marry because they have so much in common with their significant other.

So why did B marry me?

I am not incredibly good looking. I certainly do not have a lot of money. It took us 9 years into our marriage before we had kids. I am not a world traveler nor do I much desire to travel extensively. We don't like the same music. We don't like the same movies. We are friends with completely different kinds of people. Heck we even vote differently.

So why does B continue to want to stay married to me?

Why did I marry B?

Sense of humor

I think the biggest reason was her sense of humor. She could make me laugh.

Feelings

I liked how I felt when I was around her. I liked how I felt when I thought about her.

Family

I met her family several months into our relationship and I really loved that her mom and dad had been married for so long. I loved how they accepted me into the family very easily.

Beauty

I really loved who she was on the inside. I REALLY loved who she was on the outside. Yes I know beauty is only skin deep but let me tell you, it never hurts to have someone around that is easy on the eyes.

God Fearing

I think that is enough to say about that.

Insight

She had a way of helping me see things from a different perspective.

Why do I continue to stay married to B?

She still makes me laugh. I still love how I feel when I am around her. I still love her family. I still think she is a stark raving beauty that was put here to torment my dreams. She still loves God. Her ability to make me see things from a different perspective has grown even deeper.

Why else?

She is a superb mother for my children. She is very forgiving of my short comings. She keeps me honest. Shall I go on?

Oh, and I can see myself growing old with her. Enjoying our retirement years together. Watching our grandchildren run around the house.

B makes me whole.

I love you my bride. Please never forget it.

We hit 1000 web hits

Yes more than 50% of the hits for my blog are probably from me looking or posting to the blog. But still, I hit 1000 web page hits recently and it is a very big moment in my life. Yes there are many moments that will be more significant, but....

Laser Quest

My wife has said that I have lived the birthday party of an 8 year old for the last week. Today was no exception. My best friend KS and I and his family all went to the Laser Quest facility in North Richland Hills, Texas.

KS and I had experience in playing a laser tag type game back in our post high school days. The laser tag of that day was called photon. Laser Quest is much more advanced compared to Photon. The laser gun actually sends out a red laser beam to indicate what target you are hitting. We purchased a three game set.

The first game was basically me, KS, his wife, one other adult and about 7 kids under the age of 10. It was very much like shooting fish in a barrel. I did not take "much" pleasure in racking up the highest score in the first game because it was at the expense of a bunch of small kids.

The second game included several more kids under ten but it also included a group of teenagers. My killing spree ability was severely curtailed because of the higher abilities of the teenagers. I only came in second.

The third game included another group of kids and a few more adults. I came in third. All in all I had fun and I got to spend time with my best friend and his cool family. I am hoping to move down to this area to be able to spend more time reliving our childhood.

Did I mention that we played a lot of Xbox 360 this week?

A new good friend

I wanted to share with you the experience I had when I was able to spend some time with one of the gentlemen I have the privilege of working with. There was a moment when we shared a friendly hug goodbye that communicated to me that I knew I had made a friend that would be with me for many years to come.

I don't make friends very easily. Call it shyness, call it incompatibility, call it whatever you want. But I have never been able to make really good close friendships since I originally left the DFW area almost 14 years ago.

It is the strangest thing. I have only known RC for a short time and I am already impressed by him as a professional as well as a person. He is a person of incredible integrity and morals. I am proud to call him a really good friend.

Another Truly Americana Experience

I experienced another episode in my travels that can only be explained as the quintessential Americana scene.

I went to see two movies tonight at a drive-in theater. Yes, we went to a drive in theater. There is a small town outside of Fort Worth Texas called Granbury. In this town there is a drive in theater called The Brazos. What an amazing and wonderful experience we had at this location.

Everything that is right and good and perfect about America and about this world can be summed up by watching a movie with your friends and family at a drive in movie. Mix in the perfect atmosphere of this particular theater and you will have the perfect evening.

The Brazos has everything you want in a modern drive in theater. There are kids running around, playing and having a good time. People bring coolers filled with drinks and snacks. There is a snack bar for you in case you need something. The sound is piped through your car stereo.

If we move down here from Ohio, you can guarantee we will visit the Brazos frequently.

FLUSH THE TOILET AND WASH YOUR HANDS

It's not that I am asking you to leave money. It's not that I am asking you to give up your first born child. It is such a simple thing and yet.....so many of you cannot seem to grasp the concept.

Far too many times I have entered a men's bathroom to find not one but multiple instances of people that have left their mark. The whole point to a toilet/urinal is so that people don't have to smell or see your precious gifts. Where were you born? Who raised you? At what point in your life did you think it was ok to NOT flush?

You would think that this phenomenon was limited to gross bathrooms in fast food restaurants or at a park. Oh no, let me say that there are people that wear suits and work in tall office buildings in a major metropolitan city that do not flush. FLUSH THE TOILET.

What is even more surprising is the amount of men that do not wash their hands after going to the restroom. Let's just set aside the fact that you just handled or touched an area of your body that only a few people would want to touch. Think about washing your hands because you don't want to get a cold from the last guy that came into the bathroom with germs on his hands.

JUST WASH YOUR HANDS.

I forgot my keys

So (does it seem that most of my posts start with So?)

I am sitting on the floor outside the corporate headquarters of my company. I usually don't come into the office simply because I am in a different state. But this week I am visiting HQ. I have had a key to the office for more than a year but it just sits on a shelf collecting dust.

The one morning I really needed to remember the key.....I forgot it. So here I sit....in the middle of the hallway, tapped into someone else's wireless connection, blogging about my predicament.

O woe as me....

Precious Moments Chapel

We visited the Precious Moments Chapel and Museum today in Carthage, Missouri. We had visited the location previously but it has been about 10 years and it was before we had kids. It brought back memories of when B and I visited Washington DC. Specifically when we visited the Museum of American History. More specifically it was when we looked at the display of all the things that had been left at the wall by friends and family of the men and women on the Vietnam War Memorial.

It was incredibly sad and depressing to read all the things people wrote about our fallen heroes. It was equally depressing to read about all of the people that had been memorialized at the Precious Moments Chapel. Because it was mostly about children. There was a book at the chapel that gave people the ability to write about a loved one they were remembering.

If you are ever in need of picking up a precious moments figurine, this is the place for you. If you want something to push you over the edge as far as depression goes.....this is the place for you.

Finishing the basement ....part four

The plan all along has been to do the drywall myself and then hire someone for a couple hundred dollars to come in to do the muddin and tapin. After striking out with several of my buddies that know how to do this type of work really well, I started calling some companies that specialize in it. The first one that called me back said that the price was going to be around $2,000. Needless to say we were a little shell shocked.

I kept calling some places and I found someone that would do it for $900.00. We weren't exactly excited about the price but it was either that or I could do it myself and have it look like complete doo doo. So they are coming out tomorrow to start the mudding and taping. We are hoping they will get it done by the middle of next week so we can paint it before we leave to drive to my sister's house.

i am already amazed at the transformation just with adding the drywall. Hopefully I will have some pictures for you before we leave next week.

stay tuned....

Have you ever felt the rush of getting away with something?

I have never fancied myself as someone that was a constant breaker of the law. Rarely do I speed, I don't shop lift, I keep the tags on my car up to date, I almost never allow my driver's license to expire.

So if I do violate the law it is going to be for a very minor infraction. You see I have this fear of prison and jail. Call me crazy but I don't want to experience some of the unique situations that occur while in jail.

I remember when I was in college and a group of us made a covert trip to the back of a grocery store to make off with milk carton crates. I remember the incredible rush I felt when we were driving away with our booty. I realize it was not a major offense but the feeling was real none the less.

Tonight we had to make a pit stop in the new build area of our subdivision because the pile of scrap was beginning to grow rather large in my drive way. 20 years later the feeling just wasn't the same. Granted I did not want to get caught and have to pay a fine. But I knew I wasn't going to jail.

MAN I have to get a life!

Basement project .... part three

The sheetrock/dry wall/gypsum/wall board or what ever you call it in your world, is finished. YEHAWW........

Next comes the mudding and taping. Going to pay someone for that. Stay tuned.

The world's most dangerous terrorist captured!

Ok so perhaps she is not a terrorist but this was a funny picture and it gave me an excuse to go on a little rant about her.

Can you name me someone that is as angry, bitter and negative about people that disagree with her than Rosie O'Donnell? While I don't watch the TV show The View, I am certainly glad she does not have a daily forum to spew her hatred and bitterness any longer.