I am starting a series of posts that will deal with topics that I want to tell my kids about if for some reason I am not around when they get old enough to be able to comprehend it. I got the idea from the movie "My Life" with Michael Keaton. Basically he is diagnosed with a terminal illness and because he has small children he wants to tape a series of video recordings to be able to speak to them when they get older.
Topic #1: No one really has it all figured out
Everyone has stress, everyone worries and everyone has anxiety. What I have discovered is that everyone else worries just as much as I do. Granted it is probably about different specific things. The point being that while you may look up to someone because they are confident or because they seem to have it all together, they may secretly be screaming at the top of their lungs for someone to rescue them.
Some people are really good at managing their worries and turning them in to motivation. Some people just barely keep it together day in and day out. Some people let the internal pressure become too intense and they explode.
Just know that it is natural and that everyone is dealing with it just like you. Just try to be happy. Life is too short to spend it worrying all the time.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Daddy's Special and Egg Sandwiches
I am writing you today about a topic that is near and dear to my heart. Other than pancakes, scrambled eggs, bologna and PBJ sandwiches, Daddy's Special and Egg Sandwiches are the two meals I know how to make all by myself.
Daddy's Special
Fix two boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (there is no substitute)
NOTE: Do not use milk as prescribed on the side of the box (it robs the Mac n Cheese of its cheesy flavor). Also, make sure, after draining the water from the noodles you put the margarine in the empty pot you boiled the noodles in. Wait about 60 seconds and then pour the noodles over the top of the margarine (the margarine will spread more evenly over the noodles). Then pour both packets on top of the noodles and stir throughly (make sure to not have any clumps of cheese nor should you forget to stir the cheese through to the bottom).
Open, drain and pour a can of LeSeur Baby Peas into the Mac N Cheese (there is no substitute)
Open and pour a vacuum sealed bag of StarKist Tuna into the Mac N Cheese
I recommend you eat the Daddy's Special with a big glass of milk or a coke.
Egg Sandwiches
Break three eggs into a plastic bowl
Stir the eggs VERY well
NOTE: Not stirring the eggs well may result in exploding eggs while being cooked!
Place plastic bowl in microwave for 2 minutes
As soon as the timer goes off you must remove the bowl from the microwave and stir the eggs so that the break up into many little pieces.
NOTE: If you do not pull the eggs out as soon as the timer goes off the eggs will shrink. Non-fluffy stirred eggs are much harder to truly enjoy.
Add two large spoonfuls of mayonaise (whatever mayo you choose is fine)
Spread enough egg/mayo mix over two pieces of bread so as to make two sandwiches.
Pour yourself a large glass of milk, go into the living room and watch a new episode of Battlestar Gallactica.
These two recipes have been past down through our family from generation to generation.
Bon Appetit
Daddy's Special
Fix two boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (there is no substitute)
NOTE: Do not use milk as prescribed on the side of the box (it robs the Mac n Cheese of its cheesy flavor). Also, make sure, after draining the water from the noodles you put the margarine in the empty pot you boiled the noodles in. Wait about 60 seconds and then pour the noodles over the top of the margarine (the margarine will spread more evenly over the noodles). Then pour both packets on top of the noodles and stir throughly (make sure to not have any clumps of cheese nor should you forget to stir the cheese through to the bottom).
Open, drain and pour a can of LeSeur Baby Peas into the Mac N Cheese (there is no substitute)
Open and pour a vacuum sealed bag of StarKist Tuna into the Mac N Cheese
I recommend you eat the Daddy's Special with a big glass of milk or a coke.
Egg Sandwiches
Break three eggs into a plastic bowl
Stir the eggs VERY well
NOTE: Not stirring the eggs well may result in exploding eggs while being cooked!
Place plastic bowl in microwave for 2 minutes
As soon as the timer goes off you must remove the bowl from the microwave and stir the eggs so that the break up into many little pieces.
NOTE: If you do not pull the eggs out as soon as the timer goes off the eggs will shrink. Non-fluffy stirred eggs are much harder to truly enjoy.
Add two large spoonfuls of mayonaise (whatever mayo you choose is fine)
Spread enough egg/mayo mix over two pieces of bread so as to make two sandwiches.
Pour yourself a large glass of milk, go into the living room and watch a new episode of Battlestar Gallactica.
These two recipes have been past down through our family from generation to generation.
Bon Appetit
Monday, December 18, 2006
Happy 13th Anniversary B
It was 13 years ago today that B and I were married in Tulsa, Oklahoma. There are a great many things I have learned in my 13 years of marriage to B. Still, there are a great many things I have left to learn.
There is one universal truth that I want to share with everyone. If you put this idea in your head and let it bounce around for a while, it might just save your marriage.
People that stay married for a long time DECIDE that they are going to stay married. GETTING married is about emotions. STAYING married is about making a conscious decision in the absence of those emotions.
That is not to say that your long term marriage will be devoid of emotion or passion. It seems to me that marriages fail because people wake up one day, look at their partner and realize that the incredible emotions they had been feeling since the marriage have subsided. They interpret the lack of emotions as a lack of love and therefore start to look for other avenues that will make them feel that way (i.e. pornography, other people). Obviously there are other reasons why marriages fail (abuse etc...).
If you try to approach marriage like you do most other things in your life (i.e. the easy way out) no doubt you will have an unfulfilling marriage (or no marriage at all). Now, don't think for one second that I have it all figured out. I can tell you that the only reason I am still married is because of my wonderful wife.
She is willing to look past the fact that I am way to mentally dedicated to my job or that I ALWAYS screw up her birthday. I am extremely lucky that I was able to give her two beautiful kids and provide finacially for our family. That and due to the fact I do 100% of the driving on long trips and do all the lawn work.
If you have the right mindset about marriage, you will find the feelings and emotions that grow out of the decision you make to stay married will be far stronger and more powerful than the those surrounding when you were married.
I love B in more ways and in deeper ways that I EVER did before we were married. My relationship with B is such that I wouldn't do anything to ever jeopardize it because I know all that I have to lose.
Pour your heart into your marriage. If you don't you are only wasting your time and their's.
I will love you for ever B
Thank you for saying Yes!
Your Beast
There is one universal truth that I want to share with everyone. If you put this idea in your head and let it bounce around for a while, it might just save your marriage.
People that stay married for a long time DECIDE that they are going to stay married. GETTING married is about emotions. STAYING married is about making a conscious decision in the absence of those emotions.
That is not to say that your long term marriage will be devoid of emotion or passion. It seems to me that marriages fail because people wake up one day, look at their partner and realize that the incredible emotions they had been feeling since the marriage have subsided. They interpret the lack of emotions as a lack of love and therefore start to look for other avenues that will make them feel that way (i.e. pornography, other people). Obviously there are other reasons why marriages fail (abuse etc...).
If you try to approach marriage like you do most other things in your life (i.e. the easy way out) no doubt you will have an unfulfilling marriage (or no marriage at all). Now, don't think for one second that I have it all figured out. I can tell you that the only reason I am still married is because of my wonderful wife.
She is willing to look past the fact that I am way to mentally dedicated to my job or that I ALWAYS screw up her birthday. I am extremely lucky that I was able to give her two beautiful kids and provide finacially for our family. That and due to the fact I do 100% of the driving on long trips and do all the lawn work.
If you have the right mindset about marriage, you will find the feelings and emotions that grow out of the decision you make to stay married will be far stronger and more powerful than the those surrounding when you were married.
I love B in more ways and in deeper ways that I EVER did before we were married. My relationship with B is such that I wouldn't do anything to ever jeopardize it because I know all that I have to lose.
Pour your heart into your marriage. If you don't you are only wasting your time and their's.
I will love you for ever B
Thank you for saying Yes!
Your Beast
Sunday, December 17, 2006
The Burglary Next Door (Final Chapter)
As my neighbor crossed the street I expected him to be completely oblivious to the entire situation. He was probably asleep and was awoken by the big ruckus. Much to my dismay this was not the case.
Apparently he had called the police just prior to my calling them. So that explained the seemingly lightening fast response. We shared our experiences of the past 20 minutes. Just then an officer approached us to ask if we were the witnesses to the crime. The officer explained that this seemed like this was going to be a "good bust."
So we went inside with the officer and started to recount the events of the evening. After a few minutes the officer got up and went outside. After a few more minutes we looked out the window to see them leading the "perp" (without his handcuffs) back into the house.
We went outside to find out if he had gotten off on a technicality. The officer explained to us that the "perp" was a friend of the neighbors. Apparently they were out of town and he was locked out of the house. Because of the dogs being in the house he called the home owners and asked them what he should do. They told him to go ahead and break out a window because they were going to be out of town for several more days.
So in the end we were able to illustrate to our neighbors that we watched over their house while they were not around. We also have lasting humorous memories in that we imagined this poor guy bending over the dog bowls saying "here you go fefe here is more foo" when a police officer burst through the door (after kicking open) "GET ON THE GROUND."
Jerry Springer says...
I can understand having to break out a window because you were locked out. Try to put a little more thought into the method by which you do it. Don't wait until late on a Friday night and certainly don't wear black clothes and a black stocking cap while you were doing it.
Apparently he had called the police just prior to my calling them. So that explained the seemingly lightening fast response. We shared our experiences of the past 20 minutes. Just then an officer approached us to ask if we were the witnesses to the crime. The officer explained that this seemed like this was going to be a "good bust."
So we went inside with the officer and started to recount the events of the evening. After a few minutes the officer got up and went outside. After a few more minutes we looked out the window to see them leading the "perp" (without his handcuffs) back into the house.
We went outside to find out if he had gotten off on a technicality. The officer explained to us that the "perp" was a friend of the neighbors. Apparently they were out of town and he was locked out of the house. Because of the dogs being in the house he called the home owners and asked them what he should do. They told him to go ahead and break out a window because they were going to be out of town for several more days.
So in the end we were able to illustrate to our neighbors that we watched over their house while they were not around. We also have lasting humorous memories in that we imagined this poor guy bending over the dog bowls saying "here you go fefe here is more foo" when a police officer burst through the door (after kicking open) "GET ON THE GROUND."
Jerry Springer says...
I can understand having to break out a window because you were locked out. Try to put a little more thought into the method by which you do it. Don't wait until late on a Friday night and certainly don't wear black clothes and a black stocking cap while you were doing it.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
The Burglary Next Door (Chapter Two)
I wasn't really sure what to expect as far as hearing the police arrive on the scene. When I saw the helicopter's bright light from above, I had my answer.
I began hearing noises in the backyard of my house. I heard some shouting from people that sounded like they were police officers. I peeked out the window to see what I could see and I caught the tail end of what appeared to be undercover police officers pointing their guns and uniformed officers. Apparently the detectives who were in the area had also responded to the 911 emergency. They didn't announce to their counterparts because they were yelling at each other to drop their weapons.
So then I realize that they had come into my back yard and were jiggling the handle of my back door. Clearly the 911 operator did not get the message when I told her that the crime was being committed in the house just east of my house. So, I stuck my head out the door and yelled to the police officers that they were at the wrong house.
I went back inside and thought of what I should be doing at that moment. Thoughts came flooding into my mind about innocent bystanders being hit by stray bullets. So while I wanted to stand up and look out the window to see what was happening, I stayed on the floor for a few seconds. B calls to me from upstairs "what is happening?" My reply my based upon my current line of thinking "stay upstairs with JCG, I don't want you getting shot!"
It is at this point in the story that my memory gets a little fuzzy. I don't remember if I stood up (even against my better judgement because I might get shot) to see them arresting him in the other house or if I imagined what that scene was like after one of the officers was explaining the scene. Nevertheless, the next memory that is most clear in the chain of events was me seeing the person who had been crawling in the window, was now in handcuffs and was being led away by two officers.
I remember thinking at that moment how proud I was that we had been involved in foiling a crime. I remember thinking how appreciative my neighbors would be when they found out what we had done. So, I started out the door (after yelling upstairs to B that they had the "perp" in custody) to go interact with the officers to let them know that it was ME that had called them.
But then a thought occurred to me "What if this guy that they arrested was a gang member? What if he sees that it was me that called the police and that it was me that was going to have to testify against him in court?" I think I ultimately decided that because he was locked away in a "patty wagon" that he wouldn't be able to see me. Plus I wasn't going to let him steal this moment away from me.
I proceeded outside with my chest sticking out with pride. I saw one of my neighbors crossing the street as if to want to talk to me about what happened. It was at this moment the entire pride filled adrenalin pumping night was about to come crashing down.
...to be continued
I began hearing noises in the backyard of my house. I heard some shouting from people that sounded like they were police officers. I peeked out the window to see what I could see and I caught the tail end of what appeared to be undercover police officers pointing their guns and uniformed officers. Apparently the detectives who were in the area had also responded to the 911 emergency. They didn't announce to their counterparts because they were yelling at each other to drop their weapons.
So then I realize that they had come into my back yard and were jiggling the handle of my back door. Clearly the 911 operator did not get the message when I told her that the crime was being committed in the house just east of my house. So, I stuck my head out the door and yelled to the police officers that they were at the wrong house.
I went back inside and thought of what I should be doing at that moment. Thoughts came flooding into my mind about innocent bystanders being hit by stray bullets. So while I wanted to stand up and look out the window to see what was happening, I stayed on the floor for a few seconds. B calls to me from upstairs "what is happening?" My reply my based upon my current line of thinking "stay upstairs with JCG, I don't want you getting shot!"
It is at this point in the story that my memory gets a little fuzzy. I don't remember if I stood up (even against my better judgement because I might get shot) to see them arresting him in the other house or if I imagined what that scene was like after one of the officers was explaining the scene. Nevertheless, the next memory that is most clear in the chain of events was me seeing the person who had been crawling in the window, was now in handcuffs and was being led away by two officers.
I remember thinking at that moment how proud I was that we had been involved in foiling a crime. I remember thinking how appreciative my neighbors would be when they found out what we had done. So, I started out the door (after yelling upstairs to B that they had the "perp" in custody) to go interact with the officers to let them know that it was ME that had called them.
But then a thought occurred to me "What if this guy that they arrested was a gang member? What if he sees that it was me that called the police and that it was me that was going to have to testify against him in court?" I think I ultimately decided that because he was locked away in a "patty wagon" that he wouldn't be able to see me. Plus I wasn't going to let him steal this moment away from me.
I proceeded outside with my chest sticking out with pride. I saw one of my neighbors crossing the street as if to want to talk to me about what happened. It was at this moment the entire pride filled adrenalin pumping night was about to come crashing down.
...to be continued
Friday, December 15, 2006
The Burglary Next Door (Chapter One)
So there I was, downstairs in the basement of our old house playing on the computer. B calls me from the main floor and exclaims "I think I hear someone breaking glass outside. Can you come here for a second?" Thinking that she was crazy or more likely that it was something other than glass, I headed upstairs to investigate.
We lived in a section of town where the houses were built very close together. The houses are no more than 10-15 feet apart on average. So when I arrived upstairs in the kitchen, much to my surprise, there was an individual standing just outside the window of the house directly to the east of us. I looked at B, I looked back outside, I looked at B and then I asked her "Do we know this person?"
At that time, we had not become too friendly with our new neighbors but I did know what they looked like and I knew that this person was not them. So it was at that moment that I could feel the wannabe cop in me start to swell. Our first thought was to really make sure that what we feared was happening was actually happening.
"Perhaps they are home, and they are having someone dressed in dark clothes wearing a black stocking cap work on replacing that particular window pane. If I see the guy start to crawl through the window I am going to call the police because anyone at 10:00 pm on a Friday who is working a window shouldn't need to actually crawl through it." These were my thoughts at that time.
Not a moment later the person laid a towel down so as not to cut themselves on the freshly broken glass and start to crawl in the window. So I picked up the phone hanging the kitchen wall and dialed 911.
"Hello, this the police department what is your emergency?"
"Hello, I live at 531 Weber Road and there is someone breaking a window out of the house next door and has crawled in through the window."
"Do you know the address of the house?"
"No, but it is directly to the east of us."
"So you don't know the address?"
"No"
"Can you see the person in the house?"
"Wait, let me see if I ca.....WHOA....he just walked in front of the window so I ducked down. But yes I can see him in the house."
"What is he wearing?"
"Black stocking cap, dark colored pants and dark colored shirt and he is a white guy. Wait, I think I just saw someone else trying to crawl through the window."
"Are you sure, did you get a look?"
"No but I swear I thought I saw someone."
"Ok, sir the police are on their way."
All of a sudden a bright light appeared from the sky and I could hear some shouting from out back.
.....to be continued
We lived in a section of town where the houses were built very close together. The houses are no more than 10-15 feet apart on average. So when I arrived upstairs in the kitchen, much to my surprise, there was an individual standing just outside the window of the house directly to the east of us. I looked at B, I looked back outside, I looked at B and then I asked her "Do we know this person?"
At that time, we had not become too friendly with our new neighbors but I did know what they looked like and I knew that this person was not them. So it was at that moment that I could feel the wannabe cop in me start to swell. Our first thought was to really make sure that what we feared was happening was actually happening.
"Perhaps they are home, and they are having someone dressed in dark clothes wearing a black stocking cap work on replacing that particular window pane. If I see the guy start to crawl through the window I am going to call the police because anyone at 10:00 pm on a Friday who is working a window shouldn't need to actually crawl through it." These were my thoughts at that time.
Not a moment later the person laid a towel down so as not to cut themselves on the freshly broken glass and start to crawl in the window. So I picked up the phone hanging the kitchen wall and dialed 911.
"Hello, this the police department what is your emergency?"
"Hello, I live at 531 Weber Road and there is someone breaking a window out of the house next door and has crawled in through the window."
"Do you know the address of the house?"
"No, but it is directly to the east of us."
"So you don't know the address?"
"No"
"Can you see the person in the house?"
"Wait, let me see if I ca.....WHOA....he just walked in front of the window so I ducked down. But yes I can see him in the house."
"What is he wearing?"
"Black stocking cap, dark colored pants and dark colored shirt and he is a white guy. Wait, I think I just saw someone else trying to crawl through the window."
"Are you sure, did you get a look?"
"No but I swear I thought I saw someone."
"Ok, sir the police are on their way."
All of a sudden a bright light appeared from the sky and I could hear some shouting from out back.
.....to be continued
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Parenting according to.....me!
There are five stages to parenting that everyone should know about.
Stage one parenting (a.k.a. I don't have kids and I don't want kids):
Before I begin talking about people in this stage there are a few things that I want to make clear. First, I totally respect people in this stage. Second, some people will never be out of this stage--and that is perfectly fine with me--aren't you glad?
People in this stage tend to be very independant wild spirits. They cannot imagine having to give up the freedoms they currently enjoy. I have to say that if the thought of giving up their lifestyle closely resembles the shock I went through after being married for 9 years and then having a child...I don't blame them for feeling the way they do.
But there are some misconceptions that need to be cleared up about this stage.
First, no matter how much you feel loving a pet is just as powerful as loving a child, you are probably mistaken. I have had pets in my life and I have loved my pets with a deep personal love. I can tell you from first hand experience that the love you have for a child is about 1000 times that of any love you can have for a pet. I know it seems so real and so deep that you cannot imagine being able to love something more. But trust me, it is very different.
Second, anyone that thinks that baby sitting someone else's child or caring for their own pet is like a warm up to taking care of a child, let me help you understand the comparison. On a scale of 1 to 1000 (1 being completely unprepared to care for a child and 1000 being fully ready and capable of caring for a child), if you are successful at performing one of the afore mentioned tasks I would rate you about a 10 out of 1000. That is about how much experience those activities will gain you.
Stage two parenting (a.k.a. We are thinking about getting pregnant):
People in this stage have probably started by having unprotected sex and just "see what happens" for a little while. Depending on your urgency for having a child you may move to more agressive forms of pregnancy induction sooner than others. You need to know that only you can know when it is time to move to the next phase of getting pregnant. Everyone's body chemistry is different. Then try introducing a second person into the mix (your husband) and you have yourself a genuine biological conundrum. Don't be ashamed or embarrased about having to seek help.
People in this stage must also understand something very important. No matter how prepared you think you are for having a child, you are wrong. No matter how much advice people give you about what it is like to have a child, you will be unprepared for the rush of panic and emotion that will set in when you are at home the first night from being in the hospital. You look down at the baby and then at your partner and say to yourselves "Holy $%# now what do we do?" "When are the baby's real parents coming to get them?" Your lives will be forever changed. There is nothing you can do about it but jump into parenting with both legs and arms and feet and lips and teeth, grab on tight and never let go.
Stage three parenting (a.k.a. so you are brand new parents):
People in this stage will take so many pictures of their baby it will make you sick. I mean really how many pictures CAN you have of one individual? The answer is simple.....NEVER ENOUGH.
People in this stage are wondering and worrying about how good of parents you will be as the baby gets older. The women want this stage to last forever. The men want this stage to advance such that they can interact with their child instead of having a big blob with eyes staring at you like you are some kind of idiot.
People in this stage think that their child is the prettiest of any baby they have laid their eyes on. This is God's plan. While it may not actually be true, your heart and mind tell you that this is the cutest baby you have ever seen. WARNING: If you do not think this then you need serious therapy. Because there IS NO OTHER BABY THAT IS CUTER THAN YOURS.
People in this stage, especially those with only one child, are paranoid about everything. I need to boil pacifyers. I need to wipe off the handle on the cart at the grocery store because who knows what germs are on there. I need to make sure they eat a well balanced diet.
People in this stage look at the age of their child and think "they are only 4 weeks old?!? I can't even fathom what it will be like when they are 6 months old."
Stage four parenting (a.k.a. so parenting isn't as bad or frightful as I feared)
People in this stage have their first child at age 3-5. They may have a second child.
People in this stage realize that the babies are not as fragile as they once feared.
People in this stage realize that parenting is more about what is in your heart than any technique they read in a book. They realize that every other parent is making it up as they go along just like them.
People in the stage want to sterilze their children just as much as stage three but for completely different reasons. Yes they do not want their child to get sick but mainly they don't want to get sick themselves. Being sick as a parent is horrible.
People in this stage are still taking pictures but it has slacked off a bit.
People in this stage are even more convinced that their child is the cutest, smartest and more wonderful children to ever walk the planet. They also are just now beginning to have to face the flaws they see in themselves and those they have passed on to their children. What flaws you ask? Oh like chewing your finger nails or getting angry too quickly or being too stubborn to listen.
Stage five parenting (a.k.a. everything beyond stage four)
This stage is easy for me because I haven't reached it and I know nothing about it. I will let you know when I am there.
Jerry Springer closing...
A parent is the most blessed, hard, humbling, aggrevating, fulfilling, heart breaking and confusing thing you will ever do in your life. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying every moment. If you are a parent, just LOVE YOUR KIDS. Show them everyday that they are the most important things ever created. You will figure everything else out as you go.
Stage one parenting (a.k.a. I don't have kids and I don't want kids):
Before I begin talking about people in this stage there are a few things that I want to make clear. First, I totally respect people in this stage. Second, some people will never be out of this stage--and that is perfectly fine with me--aren't you glad?
People in this stage tend to be very independant wild spirits. They cannot imagine having to give up the freedoms they currently enjoy. I have to say that if the thought of giving up their lifestyle closely resembles the shock I went through after being married for 9 years and then having a child...I don't blame them for feeling the way they do.
But there are some misconceptions that need to be cleared up about this stage.
First, no matter how much you feel loving a pet is just as powerful as loving a child, you are probably mistaken. I have had pets in my life and I have loved my pets with a deep personal love. I can tell you from first hand experience that the love you have for a child is about 1000 times that of any love you can have for a pet. I know it seems so real and so deep that you cannot imagine being able to love something more. But trust me, it is very different.
Second, anyone that thinks that baby sitting someone else's child or caring for their own pet is like a warm up to taking care of a child, let me help you understand the comparison. On a scale of 1 to 1000 (1 being completely unprepared to care for a child and 1000 being fully ready and capable of caring for a child), if you are successful at performing one of the afore mentioned tasks I would rate you about a 10 out of 1000. That is about how much experience those activities will gain you.
Stage two parenting (a.k.a. We are thinking about getting pregnant):
People in this stage have probably started by having unprotected sex and just "see what happens" for a little while. Depending on your urgency for having a child you may move to more agressive forms of pregnancy induction sooner than others. You need to know that only you can know when it is time to move to the next phase of getting pregnant. Everyone's body chemistry is different. Then try introducing a second person into the mix (your husband) and you have yourself a genuine biological conundrum. Don't be ashamed or embarrased about having to seek help.
People in this stage must also understand something very important. No matter how prepared you think you are for having a child, you are wrong. No matter how much advice people give you about what it is like to have a child, you will be unprepared for the rush of panic and emotion that will set in when you are at home the first night from being in the hospital. You look down at the baby and then at your partner and say to yourselves "Holy $%# now what do we do?" "When are the baby's real parents coming to get them?" Your lives will be forever changed. There is nothing you can do about it but jump into parenting with both legs and arms and feet and lips and teeth, grab on tight and never let go.
Stage three parenting (a.k.a. so you are brand new parents):
People in this stage will take so many pictures of their baby it will make you sick. I mean really how many pictures CAN you have of one individual? The answer is simple.....NEVER ENOUGH.
People in this stage are wondering and worrying about how good of parents you will be as the baby gets older. The women want this stage to last forever. The men want this stage to advance such that they can interact with their child instead of having a big blob with eyes staring at you like you are some kind of idiot.
People in this stage think that their child is the prettiest of any baby they have laid their eyes on. This is God's plan. While it may not actually be true, your heart and mind tell you that this is the cutest baby you have ever seen. WARNING: If you do not think this then you need serious therapy. Because there IS NO OTHER BABY THAT IS CUTER THAN YOURS.
People in this stage, especially those with only one child, are paranoid about everything. I need to boil pacifyers. I need to wipe off the handle on the cart at the grocery store because who knows what germs are on there. I need to make sure they eat a well balanced diet.
People in this stage look at the age of their child and think "they are only 4 weeks old?!? I can't even fathom what it will be like when they are 6 months old."
Stage four parenting (a.k.a. so parenting isn't as bad or frightful as I feared)
People in this stage have their first child at age 3-5. They may have a second child.
People in this stage realize that the babies are not as fragile as they once feared.
People in this stage realize that parenting is more about what is in your heart than any technique they read in a book. They realize that every other parent is making it up as they go along just like them.
People in the stage want to sterilze their children just as much as stage three but for completely different reasons. Yes they do not want their child to get sick but mainly they don't want to get sick themselves. Being sick as a parent is horrible.
People in this stage are still taking pictures but it has slacked off a bit.
People in this stage are even more convinced that their child is the cutest, smartest and more wonderful children to ever walk the planet. They also are just now beginning to have to face the flaws they see in themselves and those they have passed on to their children. What flaws you ask? Oh like chewing your finger nails or getting angry too quickly or being too stubborn to listen.
Stage five parenting (a.k.a. everything beyond stage four)
This stage is easy for me because I haven't reached it and I know nothing about it. I will let you know when I am there.
Jerry Springer closing...
A parent is the most blessed, hard, humbling, aggrevating, fulfilling, heart breaking and confusing thing you will ever do in your life. But that shouldn't stop you from enjoying every moment. If you are a parent, just LOVE YOUR KIDS. Show them everyday that they are the most important things ever created. You will figure everything else out as you go.
Saturday, December 9, 2006
I am not ashamed to admit my obsession....
Clearly I now have two obsessions. Probably more than two but that is all I can think of right now. My new obsession is writing in my blog to basically no one. But I do have another obsession that I would like to share with you.
I am unsure when it started but at some point I developed an appetite for floor cleaning (huh?). Yes that is right, I enjoy....let me restate....I derive MUCH enjoyment out of cleaning the floor. Mainly it is the carpet and the floor in the kitchen. Now you might be wondering how an obsession with cleaning the floor might manifest itself.
Well....
I have a Dyson vaccum cleaner. Dyson vaccum cleaners are some of the most expensive vaccums on the market. I can not describe to you how much I love my dyson vaccum cleaner. It is the most awesome vaccum I have ever owned. It is easy to clean, empty, use and it sucks harder than any other vaccum I have ever used. Yes I could have purchased a different one but I only use the best when I clean a floor.
I have a hoover steam cleaner for the carpet. I steam the carpets clean about once every two weeks. I pride myself in being able to get up stains when my wife is worried they won't come up. Some of my most challenging stains to have conquered are lipstick (ALOT), ground in lip smacker (RED) and red wine (ALOT). With my trusty steamer you can barely see the lipstick and lip smacker and you cannot see the red wine at all.
The newest weapon in my arsenal is a hoover hard floor heated cleaner. Basically it is like the carpet steamer but it is used on hard floors. I am less happy with this item because it doesn't seem to clean as quickly as I would like it to. Plus the vaccum function of it is pretty weak. But I will be with it for a while.
Am I ill? Probably, but I have my mom to thank for my cleaning obsession. Ok, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have a cleaning obsession. Just a floor cleaning obsession.
I am unsure when it started but at some point I developed an appetite for floor cleaning (huh?). Yes that is right, I enjoy....let me restate....I derive MUCH enjoyment out of cleaning the floor. Mainly it is the carpet and the floor in the kitchen. Now you might be wondering how an obsession with cleaning the floor might manifest itself.
Well....
I have a Dyson vaccum cleaner. Dyson vaccum cleaners are some of the most expensive vaccums on the market. I can not describe to you how much I love my dyson vaccum cleaner. It is the most awesome vaccum I have ever owned. It is easy to clean, empty, use and it sucks harder than any other vaccum I have ever used. Yes I could have purchased a different one but I only use the best when I clean a floor.
I have a hoover steam cleaner for the carpet. I steam the carpets clean about once every two weeks. I pride myself in being able to get up stains when my wife is worried they won't come up. Some of my most challenging stains to have conquered are lipstick (ALOT), ground in lip smacker (RED) and red wine (ALOT). With my trusty steamer you can barely see the lipstick and lip smacker and you cannot see the red wine at all.
The newest weapon in my arsenal is a hoover hard floor heated cleaner. Basically it is like the carpet steamer but it is used on hard floors. I am less happy with this item because it doesn't seem to clean as quickly as I would like it to. Plus the vaccum function of it is pretty weak. But I will be with it for a while.
Am I ill? Probably, but I have my mom to thank for my cleaning obsession. Ok, I wouldn't go so far as to say that I have a cleaning obsession. Just a floor cleaning obsession.
Blogging....An amazing way to waste time
I don't know what it is. It is Saturday morning, B is working until 2:00 PM, the kids are fed and doing things on their own, I have a TON of work work I could be doing, I have a ton of house work I could be doing. But what am I doing? I am importing more music and audio books into my new 80 GB IPod (thank you very much to the owners of the company I work for) and blogging.
I am not that funny. I am not that witty. Almost no one reads what I am writing. So what is it? Why am I compelled to spend time writing about things in my life that no one but me really cares about?
The truth is, I have no idea as to why the concept of blogging is so appealling to me. I guess I feel like my perspective is worth sharing. I guess I am waiting for an idea or concept to fully develop in my brain that I will be able to post that will change the lives of the masses. Meanwhile I am "practicing" by writing about other things.
I know B is going to read this and say "BORING" and "Why weren't you cleaning? Don't you realize we will be packing soon to head home for Christmas?"
By the way, other than my lovely wife I want to send a special thank you to Zany Mama and SRH for being my first official commenter.
I am not that funny. I am not that witty. Almost no one reads what I am writing. So what is it? Why am I compelled to spend time writing about things in my life that no one but me really cares about?
The truth is, I have no idea as to why the concept of blogging is so appealling to me. I guess I feel like my perspective is worth sharing. I guess I am waiting for an idea or concept to fully develop in my brain that I will be able to post that will change the lives of the masses. Meanwhile I am "practicing" by writing about other things.
I know B is going to read this and say "BORING" and "Why weren't you cleaning? Don't you realize we will be packing soon to head home for Christmas?"
By the way, other than my lovely wife I want to send a special thank you to Zany Mama and SRH for being my first official commenter.
Friday, December 8, 2006
"Honey, you will like her husband, I think he likes..."
My wife and I relocated to a different state right after we were married in 1993. I had just taken a job in Phoenix, Arizona (for a whopping $10.00 an hour). Neither one of us had ever been to Phoenix, much less lived there. So we were severely lacking in friends. For whatever reason my wife can make friends much easier than I can.
I did not realize at the time but it was in 1994 when I began my trek through the process I like to call "Honey, you will like her husband, I think he likes..."
This process is very familiar to many husbands around the world. It is the process by which we as husbands are taken to an adult version of a "play date." You husbands know what I am talking about. Your wife comes home one night after school or work or a trip to the mall. She tells you that she made plans with another couple because she wants to try and make more friends.
My wife has done this to me more times than I would like to count. While the main motivation for doing this is to try and find someone that B can become friends with, I know that there is a small portion of her that really wants to find me a friend.
I would like to think of myself as a typical guy's guy. I like watching football, basketball and baseball. I grew up playing video games. I am a fantasy sport fanatic. I like playing softball, golf, sandlot football and even throw a Frisbee around.
Now please don't misunderstand, I know for a fact that the men my wife has introduced me to are very nice people. They are good fathers and husbands. But for some reason, and I suspect this is true of most men in similar situations, these "blind dates" never stick.
And what would Jerry Springer say...
Ladies, no matter how well intentioned you are and no matter how much you think we will "hit it off" with the husband or boyfriend of one of your friends, I promise you your husband will not become life long friends with another man you set him up with.
I did not realize at the time but it was in 1994 when I began my trek through the process I like to call "Honey, you will like her husband, I think he likes..."
This process is very familiar to many husbands around the world. It is the process by which we as husbands are taken to an adult version of a "play date." You husbands know what I am talking about. Your wife comes home one night after school or work or a trip to the mall. She tells you that she made plans with another couple because she wants to try and make more friends.
My wife has done this to me more times than I would like to count. While the main motivation for doing this is to try and find someone that B can become friends with, I know that there is a small portion of her that really wants to find me a friend.
I would like to think of myself as a typical guy's guy. I like watching football, basketball and baseball. I grew up playing video games. I am a fantasy sport fanatic. I like playing softball, golf, sandlot football and even throw a Frisbee around.
Now please don't misunderstand, I know for a fact that the men my wife has introduced me to are very nice people. They are good fathers and husbands. But for some reason, and I suspect this is true of most men in similar situations, these "blind dates" never stick.
And what would Jerry Springer say...
Ladies, no matter how well intentioned you are and no matter how much you think we will "hit it off" with the husband or boyfriend of one of your friends, I promise you your husband will not become life long friends with another man you set him up with.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
The many faces of my lovely wife...
Before I begin writing on this subject I must first state a few undeniable facts.
First, my wife is my first love. I love and appreciate everything about her. I will never love another person for as long and as deeply as I love B. I love her despite her cute "little" idiosyncrasies.
Now that I have my disclaimer out of the way I need to tell the world about the four women I married.
When I married B I had never seen a more beautiful bride. Our wedding day was perfect and unforgettable. However, as I reflect upon this happy time I realize that at some point between then and now I actually married four different women.
Woman #1 (a.k.a. the woman I married)
This woman is the one I thought I married. Beauty to my beast, intelligent, wise, compassionate, generous, kind and funny (man does she make me laugh). I knew I wanted to marry her very early because of the way she made me feel when I was around her.
Woman #2 (a.k.a. packing B)
While there are some reminients of W1 in W2, these two woman are as different as day and night. This person emerges a few days before we are leaving on a trip. Similar to the ringing of the dinner bell in the old west, B would announce that it was time to PACK. Which meant everyone in the house (me) was to stop what they were doing and report for immediate re-assignment.
My idea of what a normal person does when they pack is limited to what I do when I pack. Typically the night before the trip I create an imaginary list of what I need to take with me, add 20% and shove it in my suitcase. This for me, is normal.
When B packs it is a completely different ritual. I call it a ritual because there is no other way to describe it. The first and biggest part of this ritual is the CLEANING OF THE ENTIRE HOUSE. That's right, in order for B to be able to pack we have to clean the entire house stem to stern. I am not talking about a cursory cleaning or just doing the laundry. I am talking about the type of cleaning you do when you refer to "spring cleaning."
Here is a list (not a complete list):
Find every piece of dirty laundry and take it to the laundry room.
Wash, dry, fold and put all laundry away (even if it is going to be packed)
Clean the kitchen
Mop the floors
Vacuum the carpets, stairs and entry way
Dust the furniture
Cut the grass
Pull the weeds
Edge the lawn
Get your hair cut
Make all the beds
Wash all the sheets
Flip the mattresses
Inventory the pantry
(ok she doesn't want all this done but if there was time she would)
B cannot begin to put one sock or a shirt into a suitcase before everything is clean and in its place. I have to give her credit in that rarely does she forget things. She also packs for me so I can't complain too much.
When I ask B why it is she needs to go through this process she tells me "Stop talking and do the next chore on your list."
Woman #3 (a.k.a. her mother's daughter)
I like who my wife is when she is at home with us. She is in her element. She is ok with wearing the clothes she slept in for a good portion of the next day. She doesn't find it necessary to always be made up. This is ok for me. I am cool with this because she is at home, with the people that love her no matter what (and it also means I can do it too.)
When her mother comes to visit or when we go to see her mother, B feels she has to live up to a completely different set of rules and regulations.
First, my wife is my first love. I love and appreciate everything about her. I will never love another person for as long and as deeply as I love B. I love her despite her cute "little" idiosyncrasies.
Now that I have my disclaimer out of the way I need to tell the world about the four women I married.
When I married B I had never seen a more beautiful bride. Our wedding day was perfect and unforgettable. However, as I reflect upon this happy time I realize that at some point between then and now I actually married four different women.
Woman #1 (a.k.a. the woman I married)
This woman is the one I thought I married. Beauty to my beast, intelligent, wise, compassionate, generous, kind and funny (man does she make me laugh). I knew I wanted to marry her very early because of the way she made me feel when I was around her.
Woman #2 (a.k.a. packing B)
While there are some reminients of W1 in W2, these two woman are as different as day and night. This person emerges a few days before we are leaving on a trip. Similar to the ringing of the dinner bell in the old west, B would announce that it was time to PACK. Which meant everyone in the house (me) was to stop what they were doing and report for immediate re-assignment.
My idea of what a normal person does when they pack is limited to what I do when I pack. Typically the night before the trip I create an imaginary list of what I need to take with me, add 20% and shove it in my suitcase. This for me, is normal.
When B packs it is a completely different ritual. I call it a ritual because there is no other way to describe it. The first and biggest part of this ritual is the CLEANING OF THE ENTIRE HOUSE. That's right, in order for B to be able to pack we have to clean the entire house stem to stern. I am not talking about a cursory cleaning or just doing the laundry. I am talking about the type of cleaning you do when you refer to "spring cleaning."
Here is a list (not a complete list):
Find every piece of dirty laundry and take it to the laundry room.
Wash, dry, fold and put all laundry away (even if it is going to be packed)
Clean the kitchen
Mop the floors
Vacuum the carpets, stairs and entry way
Dust the furniture
Cut the grass
Pull the weeds
Edge the lawn
Get your hair cut
Make all the beds
Wash all the sheets
Flip the mattresses
Inventory the pantry
(ok she doesn't want all this done but if there was time she would)
B cannot begin to put one sock or a shirt into a suitcase before everything is clean and in its place. I have to give her credit in that rarely does she forget things. She also packs for me so I can't complain too much.
When I ask B why it is she needs to go through this process she tells me "Stop talking and do the next chore on your list."
Woman #3 (a.k.a. her mother's daughter)
I like who my wife is when she is at home with us. She is in her element. She is ok with wearing the clothes she slept in for a good portion of the next day. She doesn't find it necessary to always be made up. This is ok for me. I am cool with this because she is at home, with the people that love her no matter what (and it also means I can do it too.)
When her mother comes to visit or when we go to see her mother, B feels she has to live up to a completely different set of rules and regulations.
- When we visit her parents, suddenly the bed we sleep in every night gets made the next morning (what the?!).
- B always puts make up on
- I see B in outfits I haven't seen since the last time we were there (wait, is she stashing clothes at her mothers house?).
- Suddenly my daily attire is no longer appropriate.
Woman #4 (a.k.a. crazy in bed B)
I could never imagine the sweet and innocent woman that I married could become the wild and craz...... wait, is this where I send my story to Penthouse Letters?
And Jerry Springer says...
B, your husband loves you just the way you are. Despite all you crazy quirks!
The genius mind of my four year old...
Every parent believes their children are brillent. That is the way God intented for parents to view their children. We won't get into philosophies of parenting and what mindset all parents should have in order to be really great parents or more importantly to get the most out of parenthood.
The topic of this post is how my beautiful, funny and vivacious four year old little girl is learning and growing faster than I admit (or would like to admit).
There are those occasions that illustrate to you just how quickly your children are growing up. Yesterday held one such occasion for B (my wife) and I. It happened at the local Barnes & Noble bookstore. They were already in town and I met them there after work. I needed to pick up a new book for work (yet another topic that we will tackle at a later date).
After eating we went across the parking lot to BNN. Going to BNN is an interesting experience in and of itself. Upon entering the store the kids JCG (the four year old girl) and JHG3 (the two year boy) make a beeline for the children's book section. I am proud to say that both the kids LOVE books. They inherited this from their mother because I only recently began reading books for personal growth and enjoyment.
BNN is like a library of sorts in that when people are around a large collection of books they feel as if they are unable to speak in a normal tone of voice (Shhhhhhhh). So when the kids hit the children's book section there is a constant barrage of "you kids quiet down" and "not so loud." Meanwhile they have climbed up on the small stage that I am sure is used at different times to read books to children. JCG decides that she is the teacher and that everyone should pay attention to the teacher. But that's not the part I am talking about.
Towards the end of our visit B and JHG3 have gone to change his diaper. JCG is with me over by the audio books just before heading to the check out line. She is begging and pleading with me to let her go look at more books. I tell her that we are very close to leaving and that there isn't time. Mainly I am distracted by looking for what I am looking for. She then procedes to take her hand and place it below my jaw. She then starts to move my jaw as if she is a ventriloquist and says "Yes honey, it is ok if you go and look at more books."
With that she takes off running to the children's book section. I can't run after her because I am on the ground laughing at what just happened.
Another Jerry Springer closing...
If you are going to disobey me, do it in a creative way.
The topic of this post is how my beautiful, funny and vivacious four year old little girl is learning and growing faster than I admit (or would like to admit).
There are those occasions that illustrate to you just how quickly your children are growing up. Yesterday held one such occasion for B (my wife) and I. It happened at the local Barnes & Noble bookstore. They were already in town and I met them there after work. I needed to pick up a new book for work (yet another topic that we will tackle at a later date).
After eating we went across the parking lot to BNN. Going to BNN is an interesting experience in and of itself. Upon entering the store the kids JCG (the four year old girl) and JHG3 (the two year boy) make a beeline for the children's book section. I am proud to say that both the kids LOVE books. They inherited this from their mother because I only recently began reading books for personal growth and enjoyment.
BNN is like a library of sorts in that when people are around a large collection of books they feel as if they are unable to speak in a normal tone of voice (Shhhhhhhh). So when the kids hit the children's book section there is a constant barrage of "you kids quiet down" and "not so loud." Meanwhile they have climbed up on the small stage that I am sure is used at different times to read books to children. JCG decides that she is the teacher and that everyone should pay attention to the teacher. But that's not the part I am talking about.
Towards the end of our visit B and JHG3 have gone to change his diaper. JCG is with me over by the audio books just before heading to the check out line. She is begging and pleading with me to let her go look at more books. I tell her that we are very close to leaving and that there isn't time. Mainly I am distracted by looking for what I am looking for. She then procedes to take her hand and place it below my jaw. She then starts to move my jaw as if she is a ventriloquist and says "Yes honey, it is ok if you go and look at more books."
With that she takes off running to the children's book section. I can't run after her because I am on the ground laughing at what just happened.
Another Jerry Springer closing...
If you are going to disobey me, do it in a creative way.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
The movies you are ashamed to admit you love...
As a guys guy you are allowed to think that certain "chick flicks" are cute or OK every once in a while. But you aren't supposed to watch them multiple times and you certainly aren't supposed to own the DVD.
There are, however, a select few "men" that actually have some feelings inside them. The problem is that these feelings can be the object of ridicule from other men and even some women. I can't help the way I am. I was born this way. Do you think I would choose this lifestyle if given a choice (probably but go with me on this)?
So let's try to identify these "black market" movie titles that keep certain men "in the closet."
Return to Me is a romantic comedy starring David Ducovney and Minnie Driver. The movie starts out with David's character losing his wife. David is very believable in his portrayal of a recent widower. But that is not the part that got me. It was the dog that sat by the front door for days and days after the wife died waiting for her to come through the door. I am sorry but if this scene did not make you blubber like a small child then you are a cold heartless idiot. I love the music, I love the older men and the characters they portray in the movie, I love the happy ending.
"Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Princess Bride is more a comedy than a romantic comedy. The scene where Andre the Giant is trying to rhyme everything to get on the nerves of one of the other characters is ridiculously funny. "I said stop it and I mean it......Anybody want a peanut?" How can you not laugh at that?
I have seen Grease with Olivia Newton John and John Travolta about 500 times. When I tried to think of a specific reason why I have seen this movie so many times, the only one I could think of was ONJ in those tight black pants in the final scene of the movie. I am sure I like the songs and the dancing but unlike the other movies in this list, there isn't something specific that draws me to this movie.
There are other movies but I am interested in hearing from you.
My Jerry Springer Moment...
Too many movies these days are trying to show the harsh reality of the real world by not having a happy ending. I don't go to the movies to live in the real world. I go to the movies to escape the real world. I don't need to pay almost $10.00 to be reminded that life sucks.
There are, however, a select few "men" that actually have some feelings inside them. The problem is that these feelings can be the object of ridicule from other men and even some women. I can't help the way I am. I was born this way. Do you think I would choose this lifestyle if given a choice (probably but go with me on this)?
So let's try to identify these "black market" movie titles that keep certain men "in the closet."
Return to Me is a romantic comedy starring David Ducovney and Minnie Driver. The movie starts out with David's character losing his wife. David is very believable in his portrayal of a recent widower. But that is not the part that got me. It was the dog that sat by the front door for days and days after the wife died waiting for her to come through the door. I am sorry but if this scene did not make you blubber like a small child then you are a cold heartless idiot. I love the music, I love the older men and the characters they portray in the movie, I love the happy ending.
"Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Princess Bride is more a comedy than a romantic comedy. The scene where Andre the Giant is trying to rhyme everything to get on the nerves of one of the other characters is ridiculously funny. "I said stop it and I mean it......Anybody want a peanut?" How can you not laugh at that?
I have seen Grease with Olivia Newton John and John Travolta about 500 times. When I tried to think of a specific reason why I have seen this movie so many times, the only one I could think of was ONJ in those tight black pants in the final scene of the movie. I am sure I like the songs and the dancing but unlike the other movies in this list, there isn't something specific that draws me to this movie.
There are other movies but I am interested in hearing from you.
My Jerry Springer Moment...
Too many movies these days are trying to show the harsh reality of the real world by not having a happy ending. I don't go to the movies to live in the real world. I go to the movies to escape the real world. I don't need to pay almost $10.00 to be reminded that life sucks.
Monday, December 4, 2006
Musical taste (or lack there of)
So is it bad that my musical tastes range from MC Hammer to Smash Mouth to Steven Curtis Chapman to 70's and 80's TV theme songs? Oh and did I mention that I LOVE 70's disco? I was born in 1969 and grew up listening to 1080 KANC AM in Anchorage Alaska.
I graduated from high school in 1987 so I also LOVE 80's music as well. My mp3 collection has in excess of 7000 songs. It is quite hysterical to see the expressions I get from people when my random shuffle setting on iTunes is concluding AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night" and starting the praise and worship singers singing the latest uplifting hymn. Only to have "Sexual Healing" start after it.
I can remember when my sister was in college at the University of North Texas studying music. My ability to gauge quality musicians is as developed as my ability to work on a car. Basically it is non-existent. So when she made fun of my ascertain that Twisted Sister was a "great" band you can understand what it takes to satisfy my musical palette.
Is it bad that I like most any song that is catchy? I mean how much more catchy could "We're Not Gonna Take" be, really?
The best part about my musical tastes is that I know it drives some people CRAZY. My sister-in-law is married to a drummer. She is extremely intelligent and has her PhD in Psychology. Her husband has been playing drums since....well...I don't know how long. She has a heart of gold and I am proud to call her my family. But when she she announced that Van Halen was untalented and no good....my world and my favorable opinion of her both took a big shot across the face. Next thing she would probably say is that the Scorpions are a typical 80's hair band!
HOW can you NOT like Van Halen? But just then I remembered a time several christmas' ago when her husband received a DVD of an relatively obscure band (OK I am just pissed about the Van Halen crack and want to make fun of her band). They sat in the room with the TV and DVD player listening to the music as if it were imprinting itself on their very soul. You know the type, sitting in a semi-erect position on a couch with the eyes closed swaying ever so gently back and forth and a small but satisfied grin on their face.
Here is my Jerry Springer closing...
Don't make fun of the musically challenged. I tend to associate music and specific songs with different times in my life. Just because the band can't play quality music to save their lives shouldn't mean they deserve any less respect (well maybe not Twisted Sister).
I graduated from high school in 1987 so I also LOVE 80's music as well. My mp3 collection has in excess of 7000 songs. It is quite hysterical to see the expressions I get from people when my random shuffle setting on iTunes is concluding AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night" and starting the praise and worship singers singing the latest uplifting hymn. Only to have "Sexual Healing" start after it.
I can remember when my sister was in college at the University of North Texas studying music. My ability to gauge quality musicians is as developed as my ability to work on a car. Basically it is non-existent. So when she made fun of my ascertain that Twisted Sister was a "great" band you can understand what it takes to satisfy my musical palette.
Is it bad that I like most any song that is catchy? I mean how much more catchy could "We're Not Gonna Take" be, really?
The best part about my musical tastes is that I know it drives some people CRAZY. My sister-in-law is married to a drummer. She is extremely intelligent and has her PhD in Psychology. Her husband has been playing drums since....well...I don't know how long. She has a heart of gold and I am proud to call her my family. But when she she announced that Van Halen was untalented and no good....my world and my favorable opinion of her both took a big shot across the face. Next thing she would probably say is that the Scorpions are a typical 80's hair band!
HOW can you NOT like Van Halen? But just then I remembered a time several christmas' ago when her husband received a DVD of an relatively obscure band (OK I am just pissed about the Van Halen crack and want to make fun of her band). They sat in the room with the TV and DVD player listening to the music as if it were imprinting itself on their very soul. You know the type, sitting in a semi-erect position on a couch with the eyes closed swaying ever so gently back and forth and a small but satisfied grin on their face.
Here is my Jerry Springer closing...
Don't make fun of the musically challenged. I tend to associate music and specific songs with different times in my life. Just because the band can't play quality music to save their lives shouldn't mean they deserve any less respect (well maybe not Twisted Sister).
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