It was 13 years ago today that B and I were married in Tulsa, Oklahoma. There are a great many things I have learned in my 13 years of marriage to B. Still, there are a great many things I have left to learn.
There is one universal truth that I want to share with everyone. If you put this idea in your head and let it bounce around for a while, it might just save your marriage.
People that stay married for a long time DECIDE that they are going to stay married. GETTING married is about emotions. STAYING married is about making a conscious decision in the absence of those emotions.
That is not to say that your long term marriage will be devoid of emotion or passion. It seems to me that marriages fail because people wake up one day, look at their partner and realize that the incredible emotions they had been feeling since the marriage have subsided. They interpret the lack of emotions as a lack of love and therefore start to look for other avenues that will make them feel that way (i.e. pornography, other people). Obviously there are other reasons why marriages fail (abuse etc...).
If you try to approach marriage like you do most other things in your life (i.e. the easy way out) no doubt you will have an unfulfilling marriage (or no marriage at all). Now, don't think for one second that I have it all figured out. I can tell you that the only reason I am still married is because of my wonderful wife.
She is willing to look past the fact that I am way to mentally dedicated to my job or that I ALWAYS screw up her birthday. I am extremely lucky that I was able to give her two beautiful kids and provide finacially for our family. That and due to the fact I do 100% of the driving on long trips and do all the lawn work.
If you have the right mindset about marriage, you will find the feelings and emotions that grow out of the decision you make to stay married will be far stronger and more powerful than the those surrounding when you were married.
I love B in more ways and in deeper ways that I EVER did before we were married. My relationship with B is such that I wouldn't do anything to ever jeopardize it because I know all that I have to lose.
Pour your heart into your marriage. If you don't you are only wasting your time and their's.
I will love you for ever B
Thank you for saying Yes!
Your Beast
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Admit it..she stays with you because
a) Your floor cleaning obsession
and
b) the fact that, without you, she would be related to ME!
Oh no, I would stay with him for the carrying of heavy things--and he's a pretty good finder of lost items.
B
Very sweet - and I totally agree that the decision to stay married is what it's really about.
Happy Anniversary!
Post a Comment